A Response to a Confession

This is for someone special, but if you feel you can relate and this helps you, then it's for you too.



Dear !@#$%^&*,

Your confession is very touching and heart warming. It would be a complete lie if I told you I know what you're going through. I would also be a bigger asshole if i compared what you went through to someone else's predicament. This is what I have to say to you.

You need to find Jesus.

If you don't know my sense of humor by now let me inform you. That was a joke.

Your confession is terribly honest, and I'm really sorry you went through such a time. What really got me was that you understand that these actions you take aren't just hurtful, you seem to feel pitiful. Sex can be a very exquisite experience, but you seem to attach the taboo's society has placed on sex and hold them to heart.

It's unfortunate that you lost your virginity in such a horrifying way. I even remember speaking to you after it happened, you sounded proud. I don't know if you remember, but I was worried as fuck. We grow up in a time where if you keep your virginity when you're young, you're a prude and a bore, but when you're older you're revered and admired. The complete opposite for those of us who lost it early.

You then go and talk about your adventures with filling the void within yourself (not a euphemism). That was literally hard to read. My heart was throbbing, I was almost scared to continue. But you have to look at these events as a part of your past where you grow and learn from them. Everyone's got their demons and if we didn't have them we wouldn't learn what demons were.

You've developed habits or defenses that you shouldn't have. You shouldn't use sex as the reason to keep someone. Sex should be earned, planned, spontaneous, fun, and stress relieving. As for hooking-up, it's a biological need. Sex is in our programming as humans, as long as you practice it safely you should enjoy it. Hook-ups are a very popular practice nowadays so don't feel ashamed.

I can't speak for your current relationship. But if you hold these negative feelings about your relationship, it will fail. I can't guarantee it, but it can't help your relationship if you're using sex to keep it. It's possible to have sex in a loving and caring way (I call it thanksgiving). You're not boring or uninteresting. And you are special. I don't surround myself with boring people. I can't stand doing that, it aggravates me. So you are special. I'd give you a hug, but this is the internet, and that's almost impossible. I hope you read this and get something out of it. I tried to be vague-ish, not like anyone will tie this to you, but for anyone else who may need such words.

Bottom-line: you're unique, and you're still growing and learning. Don't beat yourself up for what you've done in your past, you'll get nowhere that way. You know I'm here for you, along with all your other close friends. So, to put it lightly. Quit being a whiny little bitch. ;)

Love, Yoel (the douche-bag) <3

What I've been up to..

Hello reader,

As you've noticed. I haven't been around. If you decoded my secret message you'd also understand why. For those who haven't, or didn't want to bother, I lost something very important to me, and it's getting harder and harder to get back into rhythm.

Now don't be alarmed. I'm not going senile, or going to do or have been doing anything irrational. Besides my emotional and little bits of my mental frame, I'm perfectly alright. You wouldn't know anything was different about me unless you treaded into territory I don't allow anyone to enter.

Now some people, know what has happened. Thankfully, they've done nothing but been there for me, but unfortunately, I'm still stuck..

Lately, to try and distract myself, I've been trying to keep busy. But, for some reason, whether it's karma, nature or the God I've cast aside trying to fuck with me, I'm surrounded by so much of my loss.

I'm not even kidding, I know people find "meanings" and when you avoid something it rears it's ugly head since you'e hyper focused on avoiding it, but no. Everywhere, it's haunting me.

So yeah, I've been keeping busy. Volunteering my time for everyone and everything around me. Unfortunately, one thing I didn't count on, it all backed up on me. Now I have a huge of list of commitments I signed up for that I cannot commit to. What makes me laugh, is, that no one gets that I'm trying to distract myself. The world is so obsessed with itself that they can't see that something is wrong with me. I know I have my moments of selfishness. But, one thing I'm grateful for, is my reasoning. I made a vow to myself early last year to appreciate as many little things I could. I had appreciation for things that I not only took for granted, but that I merely didn't know was around me. Supporting me. Literally.

But the problem was.. that due to this new "hyper-sensitivity" to everything in my universe, when I lost what was important to me, I felt worse than I ever had.

The thing I lost, I've lost before. On times where I thought I would never get it back. But now, it's just breaking me. It's, dare I say it, tearing me apart.

So to the reader reading this now, tomorrow, next week, long after I've combined with the universe, please know. That everything, is the best thing, ever.

'Cause she always was.

Senses Fail - The Fire

First Listen Through (October 19, 2010 11:09)

I don't like it.

Re-listening tomorrow

Couldn't get it any better than this

Before I post this video, I want to say something. For anyone out there who is reading this. If it's you who are reading this. I'm not doing anything ridiculous with my life. I'm an open book and sometimes being an open book, your pages flutter, your words are jumbled. Every drop of rain, or coffee, or spit, or tear that drops within my pages and makes the ink blur and jumble my words. But one thing I have to admit is that this monologue hit the nail for me.

I don't want to ruin it, I really don't. But there's a part in the end where the character admits something. I want you, yes you, to know and under stand a few things.

I share sentiment with the character. But I am not that character. I'm not where that character is, and I don't think I would be able to be where he is. The character and myself share a lot, but we deviate and I am who I am while he is who he is. Why am I saying this. 'Cause the video I'm putting up isn't a reach. It's isn't a plea. It's a glimpse. It isn't me. But the words he says. Does a good job summing up my life from 2005 till early 2009.

Where I am now is funny. 'Cause this character could have been me. I feel more like shrapnel. A loose piece of metal from a bigger grenade. I feel as if I was tossed into the Pacific, when I was fished up in the Mediterranean. I'm lost. But don't worry. If you're worrying. I may be lost. But my heart isn't. And that is all that matters to me.



If you haven't read my previous entry, you didn't miss much, or maybe you did?

Why the fuck does Fred have a movie?

Yea, I know, "How did you not know that there was a Fred movie?" Sorry
my life is a little to bland to realize this. From what I get Fred's
girlfriend moves away and he flips a bitch shit. I can only wonder why she
left it wouldn't be easy to live with a human being such as Fred. Maybe that's just
me but yeah, I hate that fucker. Christ. If you don't believe me
and you haven't seen it go here http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=XUD6DjQCkuc . Not
my favorite way to spend money, but apparently you have to rent that horse filth.
life just got worse with people like Fred getting popular. There's no effort.
is this what we're reduced to? I mean shit.
just look at this film. At least his high squeak voice is out of the picture.
getting used to that is simply impossible. But what really makes this movie
worse. than how I made it seem is the fact that.. it's gonna make money.

Fuck
my
life.

New layout, new blog

Hello. It's my Mum's and Bro's birthday today. Happy birthday to them.

So yeah, as you can see, new layout. For whoever is looking. Yep.

I'm planning a few blog projects, check it out:

Yoel's Top 10 Guitar Players of All Time.
This is a list of my top guitar players that just baffle me. This may be a vlog, but that depends on a lot. This project needs a lot of research so don't expect it anytime soon.

Yoel's Top 100 Guitar Players List.
Now this here is subject to change. I love guitar. Even though it isn't my favorite instrument it's one of my passions. It's a compiled list of my personal top 100 DESERVED guitarist who I believe deserve honorable mentions. The majority is all well known and all but still they deserve mention. Since this will be an extensive list I've decided to split my option on how to tackle this..

1)Dedicate a probably 100 days to write and display images and video about said guitar players prowess. Wrapping up with why I personally believe they deserve to be honored.

2) Do 10 Vlogs through the course of a year. The problem with this is that it takes more time to set up, and I wouldn't break that much of a sweat without an actual audience to present it to.

Why I hate religion faggots (ie: born-again Christians, Jehovah's Witnesses, Catholics, Evangelicals, Christians, Mormons)
Not trying to start a shit storm. I just don't like these people and I will be explaining why

That's it for now. Thank you.

Filler

Didn't finish my new post so.. stalling time..

This is sometimes all I'm hearing when it comes to some of the music I hear. But no matter how "hard" or "rich" some of these rappers or pop stars are, this guy tells it like it is. You can't deny his rhymes and message. Be hypnotized!

Ok, I'm not going for a "bad white hip hop/rap" but this one's got what Tupac's been trying to saying for years! The worst part is, this is a real organization. Good luck, you dumb twats.

This man is a true Lothario. Get this guy a beer.