The Brotherhood _oel

Weird weird week. I've got finals to study for that I'm barely studying for, Chapters to read that I've barely been reading and shit to buy without any income (well, my credit card is eating up every cent). But I'm keeping above water (barely) and turning to my loved ones for some motivation, especially my muse who's ignoring me to watch her show, but her laughter is uplifting.

It's the little nuggets in life..

No I'm not going soft, I wasn't that hard (that's what she said. ..wait). I'm just taking in a lot from life. I've been trying to slow everything down. Taking in every detail. Remembering why things are where they are, why important things are important. Then it hit me. I miss my brother.

He recently moved out so It's been weird without him. The relationship between my brother and myself isn't anything special compare to other siblings. I think if anything, it's typical. Two brothers who've fought since they were little have grown to understand and respect each other and occasionally have fun nights getting shit faced drunk while babbling bullshit philosophy, ways-of-life, and psychology (and beer, women and video games) is, on the surface, what we were.

My brother is roughly 3 years younger than myself. I have full conscious memory of when he first breathed air, kicked, and adorably yakked all over himself. He was a loud dreadful noise that could only be calmed with attention. I'd carry his smelly little ass everywhere not because I felt like a parent, or even because he was a baby and couldn't crawl fast enough for his prematurely developed legs (now the fucker towers over me, I wish I was premature :\). I carried him because I wanted to teach him everything I knew and wanted him to see everything I saw. I never considered myself highly advanced or developed, my girl can vouch for my stupidity. I can't (don't want to) go into it. Especially since it has nothing to do with anything right now.

I was never a thin dude, so the scrawny little guy he was, would poke at my portly self. Which one day ended with me knocking his tooth out with a pillow once. And let's not forget the months of playing Super Mario Bros. 3's arcade either. I'd play as Mario and he was Luigi and I whooped his pale ass into fits. (sigh) I miss those days.

We used to watch The Rescuers: Down Under, the sequel to the first, all the way till the VHS tape ran out. Since we had our volume set to high (without any disregard to neighbors or other tenants in out Brooklyn apartment. Bad Asses as we were) there would be nothing but loud static, which would scare the little bugger so much he got up and ran towards our parents room, this was before he could walk, or even stand properly.

What teaches babies to run, and fear!

I even remember the fictional hamster story. How one day, the first floor tenant came up to our home and gave us a hamster, a hamster my brother then flushed down the toilet. A complete and utter lie. But I would tell him this every time, trying really hard to sell that story. He may deny he believed it, but I know he did.

I could go and embarrass him more, but that would just be hitting below the belt. So I'll leave it to the tame shit for now.

(ahem) Mama's boy..

When we moved to our new town in Long Island, NY, he started a little paint ball platoon. I never really caught on, but I knew they'd have weekly matches and tournaments in this beloved town's Alan Diesel's backyard.

Alan Diesel. Local Hero, Part-Time Gynecologist and Chuck Norris wrangler 

I don't want to toot anyone's horn (that and it's not sanitary) but my kid brother was creepy good at it. Ha, I totally forgot I photo shopped that Alan Diesel picture. Though I didn't edit this one, I did take the picture.

Alan Diesel doesn't walk into trouble, he is trouble

When I was going through my down moments and had drunken fights where we pummeled each other. He still forgave me. The jerk that I was and he forgave me. I don't think it's because we're brothers, but mostly cause he also understood what I was going through. I'll never forgive myself for it, but I'm glad that I can be forgiven for it. My human error was animalistic, I'm happy that I've been able to rid that side of myself.

Picture of the distant future or date fail?

He has grown up into a man of taste, who does what he pleases and enjoys every second he can. One thing that I think rubbed off on me was his ability to not give a shit, about relatively anything. He does have feelings for things and cares for people obviously. But there was this maverick attitude about how he decides to live his life and interact with people. But let me make somethings clear. He's not a bad ass. He's not a jerk. He's not a fool nor can he be linked to one. He's not inconsiderate (entirely). He's not a hating or jealous individual. And he's not petty, unreliable or (entirely) useless. He is hard headed, stubborn, short-tempered, snarky, narcissistic, humorous,  forgiving, thoughtful, reliable, incorrigible, hopeful, sensitive, and..

Main Entry: ¹jerk 

Pronunciation: \ˈjərk\

Function: noun

possibly the biggest jerk I've met besides myself. Noel, you're such an asshole, and I miss you.

I miss you Jerk <3. And I'm keeping your TV;)

This guy.. is un-fucking-believable!